System and Structure Injunctions

An area that I have given due consideration over the last probably 35 years of my life. Trying to understand the dynamics of systems and structures (organised religion, family structures etc) and the effects of injunctions as a result of this on individuals.

Where has this all left me? NOWHERE, still the same situations present itself, the same archetypes doing the same deeds of inequality some of it under different disguises but every bit as present as before. The situations have changed sure, but the inequality has shifted to a far more open but closed warfare, if that makes any sense at all.

Of course it begs the question, where have I acted out inequality in my thoughts, deeds and actions? It is always a two way street you see. How easy it would be to get caught in victim mode but you see as an individual on the road to individuation, you do not have the luxury to claim ignorance.

What to change then? A deep sigh and years of contemplation on the matter has left me with structural and systems injunctions that triggers deep shock, sadness and rebellion when I encounter inequality, however I am finally learning to integrate stimulus before response and it brings a level of sanity with it.
Reality is as follows, some things are not going to change and this is where choice comes into the equation.

In relationship, do I stay or do I go? If I go, what do I go to? (That is to say if you can just turn your back and switch love off, something I have not been able to do). Do I go to Loneliness or another selfish space that will make me feel the same or worse?

In work, I can give up my career and become a housewife (problem is I must find a husband first) or I can do what I do best? Focus on what is important and do not get involved with politics. When I am affected directly push back with firmness but with grace and be the example I want to see in the world.

With friends, well you see that is the easy part, I have become a loner, a hermit that shuts myself off from the world because it is easier than being open to the potential of any hurt.

Reality is inequality will not change, not in my reality or anybody else’s. The only thing that can change is my response to it and although I am working on it, at a personal level this is a major trigger for me.

In relationship surely there are two people and two people should equally decide and determine what and how and why, otherwise it is dominance and not a relationship. Change it you may say, I have tried I will respond. There is something holding me in this, perhaps a foolish wish that things will change, or perhaps I have become, by my own choice a victim of allowing inequality in my personal space. Or perhaps it is just a karmic link and contract that need to run its term.

Whatever it is, I will continue to love and live in hope.

In these moments I realise just how unbelievably strong the system and structure injunctions are on us. That I, a strong women who takes no nonsense from anybodyi.e. in the workplace, pushing back firmly but with grace, can as a result of personal injunctions, not stand my ground in relationship. I am a walk over of note.

Sophia
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